Let's call him David.
He was a Caucasian male with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, but in his heart, he was Korean through and through. He was far more Korean than I ever was even when I lived in Korea (maybe because I was only ten years old at the time).
I met him in the early 90's, and after graduating from college, he decided to do his graduate work at Yonsei University in Korea. It's considered one of the Ivy League universities of Korea. When he arrived at Yonsei University, he did complain about how blood was so thick in Korea, how it was almost impossible for a "foreigner" to become fully accepted, etc. But he didn't just complain. He joined clubs, really put himself out there to make friends, and got involved in on-campus athletics the only way possible for him (he wasn't at all athletic) - as the school mascot.
Initially, it was a big deal for him to take off his mask and reveal his face to the surprised and delighted audience members. But after awhile, no one was surprised to see his face; in fact, the audience was surprised when someone else stood in for him.
I've lost touch with David over the years. I don't know what he's doing, but I know where he is living - in South Korea somewhere. There was a connection, he said, and it was far deeper than anything he felt for his birthplace, Montclair, CA.
It is completely OK for Rachel Dolezal to identify herself with one group of people, but it was utterly wrong for her to pretend that she was from that group when she wasn't. She lied to the people closest to her. The very people who trusted and believed her, she betrayed. And she betrayed their trust every single day she kept quiet.
The betrayal of trust. That is the difference.
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